Josh Benner

Tag: anniversary

  • My first year of marriage: How I Met My Wife

    first lookI got married a year ago today.

    It’s crazy.

    As I think about how we met, there’s always been a certain amount of fatalism in our story. We met on eHarmony. I was living in Minnesota, she was in Atlanta. The first time we ever talked was February 20, 2017. It was a Monday night, I thought she was cute and seemed nice. Never in a million years dreamed that I was messaging my future wife.

    A couple weeks earlier, she had gotten out of a relationship. Had that not happened when it happened, we might not have ever met. Because she was looking to move further into Atlanta to be closer.

    In the same few days the relationship ended, her dad accepted a job in the St. Louis area and was going to move from the south to the midwest.

    The rest of Kari’s family was living in Alabama at the time. Kari was teaching in suburban Atlanta, but she wasn’t from Atlanta and didn’t have anything keeping her there. So with her parents getting ready to move, they asked Kari if she wanted to go to St. Louis, live at home, save some money.

    She said yes and when she joined eHarmony, planning to move to St. Louis, she listed that as her city.

    For me, in western Minnesota (not exactly the world’s most populous area,) I had widened my eHarmony search parameters to include Wisconsin, Iowa, Missouri. But not Georgia.

    So had that relationship not ended at the same time that her parents had decided to move, we wouldn’t have met. Had her parents not decided to move, she likely wouldn’t have moved to a different part of the country, away from family by herself. Had her parents not moved to an area that was within my search parameters, we would not have met.

    All of the things in our lives matter. They ripple out. They’re connected to each other. Ripples from one event impact other things happening in our lives which impact those around us, our families, our futures. Every day matters, every choice matters.

    When I was single, more than anything, I wanted to be married. There were setbacks along the way. Times of frustration. But I never doubted that it would happen. But a funny thing about marriage is that once you get married to someone, it’s almost like you forget life before ever being married to that person.

    Happy anniversary Kari! I love you babe.

    Thanks for reading! I’d love to hear what you think, and don’t forget to subscribe! 

    Josh Benner is the associate pastor at Cornerstone Evangelical Free Church in Fergus Falls, Minnesota and has a Master of Divinity from Trinity Evangelical Divinity School. He enjoys writing about faith and culture. He lives with his wife Kari in Minnesota.

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  • MLK’s dream still alive 50 years after his death

    Martin_Luther_King,_Jr..jpg

    Martin Luther King was assassinated 50 years ago today outside his hotel room in Memphis, Tennessee.
    In our age with all of the politics and spin, and counterspin, I find it sad to admit that I feel like I don’t really know anything about this man.
    Obviously I know he was the most prolific leader during the Civil Rights Movement. That he gave one of the greatest speeches in American history (his “I have a dream” speech is right up there with the Gettysburg Address).
    I know that he was murdered. I know that he’s one of the most significant men of the 20th century.
    I think that part of why I feel like I don’t really know much about the man, is that I think we see the good things he stood for, and we like to see those things in ourselves and what we believe. It’s for that reason, I believe, that people from both of our major political parties find things that Dr. King said and reason that he would have been on their side, had he lived.
    The dream still lives 
    Martin Luther King clearly articulated the America that he envisioned.

    It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

    I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: “We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal.”

    I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

    I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

    I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

    I have a dream today.

    I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of interposition and nullification; one day right there in Alabama, little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.

    I have a dream today.

    -“I have a dream” speech

    There are many different opinions today of if that dream has been realized.
    We are a nation that is deeply divided.
    Has his dream been realized?
    If you believe that it has, when was it?
    I think we can look back 50 years, 60, 70, 100 yeas ago and see times where that dream most certainly was not a reality for every American.
    Today, we still live in the fallout of the sins of past generations. And as a result, there are generations of minorities who were intentionally enslaved, and then intentionally marginalized and discimriated against. But the subsequent generations have also been born into disadvantaged situations. And it becomes a vicious cycle. If someone is born into poverty, they will also have a lower quality of education, live in areas with higher crime rates, and be more likely to have run ins with the law.
    I believe in the American dream. I believe people can overcome if they work hard and use their talents and abilities to achieve their goals. But I also believe that if someone starts out from a lower position, it’s harder to overcome the obstacles. It’s not impossible, it’s just more of a challenge.

    I’m certainly not the authority on society’s ills. But I don’t think we can kick back, look at Dr. King’s dream and say it has been fully realized. Because there is still work to do. I wasn’t alive 50 years ago. I think it’s fair to say that much progress has been made.

    But just because things aren’t as bad as they used to be doesn’t mean they’re as good as they need to be.

    It’s easier to not do something than to do it. It’s easier to not care than to be challenged. I know I personally have much to learn.

    It’s easy to act like there aren’t still racial issues. But if we deny that there are, when so many in the black community feel that there are, aren’t we essentially confirming that there are in fact issues?

    Racism and prejudice are ugly ideas. I think it can be tempting to want to deny them, or explain them away. I think this is a mistake. The first step is admitting our society still has a problem.

    If two people are married, and one says, “We need to talk, we’ve had some issues, and I’ve been really hurt by some of these things.” And the other person says, “No we don’t, we’re fine,” which of the two do you think is more in touch with reality?

    Every African American I know thinks there are still racial problems in our society. Again, it can be tempting to want to downplay that. But I can’t be condescending to an entire race of people and think they’ve just all got it wrong. I haven’t walked in their shoes and lived their experiences.

    I try to listen, but I can do it better. I try to pray for people and for our nation, but I need to do it more often. I try to know people who are different than me (not just along racial lines).

    The Bible is clear about the sinfulness of our world. And one of the biggest ways how humanity sins is in finding ways to oppress those who are different.

    What are you doing to help make the dream a reality?

    Josh Benner is the associate pastor at Cornerstone Evangelical Free Church in Fergus Falls, Minnesota and has a Master of Divinity from Trinity Evangelical Divinity School. He enjoys writing about faith and culture. He lives with his wife Kari in Minnesota.

  • The eve of infamy and where I was on 9/11

    Photo courtesy of Flickr Creative Commons
    Flickr Creative Commons

    Originally posted September 11, 2012

    As I write these words, the stresses of everyday life come to mind. I think of how busy I am between school, work, and other commitments. I’m so often short-sighted and allow myself to get frustrated. It’s getting late and I jot some thoughts down before going to sleep. On this night, my thoughts are on the past and with people I’ve never met. Thirteen years ago tonight, thousands of Americans went to bed, unaware that it was the eve of their last day on earth.

    For me, that’s surreal. Monday was an ordinary start to the work week. In the evening, people played with their kids, and watched Monday Night Football, and kissed their spouses goodnight. They prepared to go on flights for work, or vacation, or just to make it home. They thought about what bill needed to be paid and the home repair which needed to be completed. They went to sleep like it was any other night and woke up to a beautiful Tuesday morning. (more…)

  • Facebook: The social network that changed the world turns 10

    Facebook profile Courtesy of Wikimedia. Circa 2005
    Facebook profile Courtesy of Wikimedia. Circa 2005

    This post is based off of a previous post entitled: Facebook 2004 and Facebook 2011. Seven year anniversary of joining the Social Network. Originally published November 16, 2011.

    I can still vividly remember it.

    Talking to a friend from high school on AIM, him sending me the link to some obscure site that he had mentioned to me called thefacebook. “BG has it now,” he said, telling me to register.

    I was skeptical. thefacebook? What does that even mean, but I followed his prodding and created an account.

    That was November 16, 2004, and it was the first day that thefacebook.com was available at Bowling Green. I fell in love with the site instantly. I thought that it was fantastic and amazing. I still have that since of wonder with the site and with the ways in which it has changed our world. (more…)

  • Shattered peace: 75th anniversary of Nazi’s “Night of Broken Glass”

    From National Holocaust Memorial Museum
    From National Holocaust Memorial Museum

    Throughout Germany and Austria, riots broke out on this night 75 years ago in a night which is infamously referred to as Kristallnacht, the Night of Broken Glass, after the destruction done to Jewish businesses and properties.

    At least 91 Jewish people were killed; 30,000 men were arrested; hundreds of businesses were damaged or destroyed. Nearly every synagogue in Germany or Austria was damaged or destroyed. (more…)