Josh Benner

Tag: book

  • “I kissed dating goodbye” author is separating from his wife

    Popular author and former pastor Joshua Harris announced via Instagram that he and his wife Shannon are separating.

    Harris influenced a generation of Evangelical Christian youths with his popular books “I kissed dating goodbye” and “Boy meets girl: say hello to courtship.”

    On Instagram, Harris said:

    We’re writing to share the news that we are separating and will continue our life together as friends. In recent years, some significant changes have taken place in both of us. It is with sincere love for one another and understanding of our unique story as a couple that we are moving forward with this decision. We hope to create a generous and supportive future for each other and for our three amazing children in the years ahead. Thank you for your understanding and for respecting our privacy during a difficult time.

    Last year, Harris began to distance himself publicly from his dating philosophy and called for the end of the publication of “I kissed dating goodbye.”

    I do have a few thoughts.

    It’s very unfortunate that their marriage is in its current state. I sincerely hope that they can reconcile and go on to have a strong marriage. In his post he used the word “separating” instead of divorce, so maybe I’m overly hopeful.

    Some will mock Harris. I think that’s unfortunate. Let’s not rub salt on the wounds. It’s a family, people’s lives, they have three kids. It’s not funny.

    With that said, I also don’t think a person should feel guilty of noticing the irony. He was the relationship guru for untold swaths of young Christians. I think a person can observe that fact without celebrating it.

    There may be a temptation for Christians who are in a tough spot with their own marriages and who bought in to Harris’s philosophy to question their own vows and relationship. Don’t do that. Joshua Harris is still just a man and he’s still fallen and fallible. Let us not make idols of teachers and writers. Regardless of what he is doing in his life and marriage, that doesn’t undermine the commitment that anyone else has made to your spouse.

    I also think it’s worth noting that just because Joshua Harris is separated from his wife does not mean that everything he ever said about dating and relationships was wrong. I don’t love “I kissed dating goodbye.” I would not encourage a person to base their dating philosophy off of that book. But for people who did, there are still some good things that he said. He emphasized being ready for marriage, commitment, healthy boundaries. Those are good things. Just because a person doesn’t ultimately live up to their own ideals does not make the ideals wrong in themselves.

    It’s important to continue to fight for your marriage. Everyday.

    Thanks for reading! I’d love to hear what you think, and don’t forget to subscribe! 
    Josh Benner has a Master of Divinity from Trinity Evangelical Divinity School. He has served churches in Minnesota and Illinois. He enjoys writing about faith and culture. He lives with his wife Kari in St. Louis.

  • The best book I read this summer: Where the Wind Leads

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    I was born in Vietnam, but I was not Vietnamese; I was raised in America, but I was not American. I grew up Asian in character but American in culture, a citizen but always refugee. I had no lessons from the past to guide me, no right way to do things in the present, and no path to follow me in the future.

    -Where the Wind Leads

    Labor Day weekend is upon us, the unofficial end to the summer.

    The best book I read all summer was “Where the Wind Leads: a refugee family’s miraculous story of loss, rescue, and redemption” by Vinh Chung, published in 2014. Of the 674 reviews on Amazon, 98% give this book a rating of 4 or 5 stars.

    Chung came to America as a child from Vietnam. I won’t give any spoilers about the book (Vinh survives the journey to America….obviously…he did write the book).

    The book is basically in three parts, each was fascinating in its own right. The first third (roughly a third) of the book talked about his family in Vietnam, his larger-than-life grandmother and the tremendous struggles (and tremendous successes) that his family had faced in Vietnam. They had nothing, had it all, and then had nothing.

    The second third of the book deals with things getting worse in Vietnam during the years of war and Vinh’s family leaving Vietnam. He recounts their journey out of Vietnam and the harrowing experience that it was to ultimately be saved. This section could be a movie. It was that compelling.

    The last portion of the book (at this point, I honestly thought the story would be anti-climactic. The action was over). But I honestly enjoyed the last section just as much as the rest of the book. He talks of being a refugee in America, learning a totally new culture. It was inserting to see Chung’s perspective as someone who came to America as  a child. A Vietnamese family who was still very traditional but living life in America. There’s a lot more I could say but I don’t want to give spoilers.

    It’s a book that shows the providence of God, the love of family, and the value of hard work. Amazing book. One of those books that you wish wasn’t done because it’s so good.

    Thanks for reading! I’d love to hear what you think, and don’t forget to subscribe! 

    Josh Benner is the associate pastor at Cornerstone Evangelical Free Church in Fergus Falls, Minnesota and has a Master of Divinity from Trinity Evangelical Divinity School. He enjoys writing about faith and culture. He lives with his wife Kari in Minnesota.

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  • The Fault in our Stars: movie faithful to the book

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    When I first heard that the book “The Fault in our Stars” was about a girl with cancer, I thought that it was going to be a piece of schmaltzy garbage. When I picked up the book in February, I was immediately drawn in, reading it in two long sittings over the span of about 11 hours. Since that day, I had been eagerly awaiting the movie that was released last night.

    I won’t say anything that would potentially spoil the movie until the last paragraph. The theater was one of the fullest I’ve been to in a long time. I felt that this movie was as true to the book as any film adaptation I have ever seen. Shailene Woodley, who plays the book’s protagonist, Hazel Grace Lancaster, had the feel and spunk that you would expect from Hazel. Ansel Elgort plays Augustus Waters and even looks like how I pictured Gus, and was another perfect embodiment of the fictional character. In the book, a love story develops between Hazel and Augustus as they meet at a support group for teens with cancer. Woodley and Elgort had great chemistry on-screen, and the development of their relationship felt natural. (more…)

  • That’s why I’m here: new book about Stefanie Spielman, faith, and love

    In March of 2009, after having fought an off and on battle with cancer for over a decade, the disease had spread to the brain of Stefanie Spielman. The new treatments which needed to begin had affected her even more severely than the numerous rounds of chemo therapy which she had endured over the years. It left her drained and dizzy.

    Her husband Chris had to take on more responsibilities around the house, things which had usually fallen on Stefanie, like paying bills, cooking meals, and helping to organize the schedules of their four kids. The family prepared to have a celebratory dinner after the radiation had finished, but this was cut short when Stefanie suffered a fall. After doing a few tests at home, she was taken to the hospital. The cancer had spread to her spine.

    In the new book, “That’s why I’m here,” Chris Spielman writes that it was at that point he was faced with the harsh reality that she was going to die from cancer. In a poignant moment, before Chris left the hospital to return home, from her hospital bed, Stefanie said, “You’ve proven to me you can do it.” (more…)

  • Once Upon A Secret: the insightfully fascinating book by a JFK intern/mistress

    Late October. 1962. 
     
    America is in a panic as the U.S. and the Soviet Union appear to be close to the brink of nuclear war. The early morning hours of October 28 would prove to be the final hours leading up to the peaceful conclusion of the Cuban Missile Crisis. But in the days and hours which led to that safe conclusion, there was tension. In our nation’s capital, some were readying fallout shelters, while others wanted to get as far away from Washington as possible in the actual event of war.  
     
    But for a young woman named Mimi, she lay “sleeping like a baby, wrapped in soft linens, in a bedroom on the second floor of the White House.” (more…)