Josh Benner

Tag: wife

  • My first year of marriage: How I Met My Wife

    first lookI got married a year ago today.

    It’s crazy.

    As I think about how we met, there’s always been a certain amount of fatalism in our story. We met on eHarmony. I was living in Minnesota, she was in Atlanta. The first time we ever talked was February 20, 2017. It was a Monday night, I thought she was cute and seemed nice. Never in a million years dreamed that I was messaging my future wife.

    A couple weeks earlier, she had gotten out of a relationship. Had that not happened when it happened, we might not have ever met. Because she was looking to move further into Atlanta to be closer.

    In the same few days the relationship ended, her dad accepted a job in the St. Louis area and was going to move from the south to the midwest.

    The rest of Kari’s family was living in Alabama at the time. Kari was teaching in suburban Atlanta, but she wasn’t from Atlanta and didn’t have anything keeping her there. So with her parents getting ready to move, they asked Kari if she wanted to go to St. Louis, live at home, save some money.

    She said yes and when she joined eHarmony, planning to move to St. Louis, she listed that as her city.

    For me, in western Minnesota (not exactly the world’s most populous area,) I had widened my eHarmony search parameters to include Wisconsin, Iowa, Missouri. But not Georgia.

    So had that relationship not ended at the same time that her parents had decided to move, we wouldn’t have met. Had her parents not decided to move, she likely wouldn’t have moved to a different part of the country, away from family by herself. Had her parents not moved to an area that was within my search parameters, we would not have met.

    All of the things in our lives matter. They ripple out. They’re connected to each other. Ripples from one event impact other things happening in our lives which impact those around us, our families, our futures. Every day matters, every choice matters.

    When I was single, more than anything, I wanted to be married. There were setbacks along the way. Times of frustration. But I never doubted that it would happen. But a funny thing about marriage is that once you get married to someone, it’s almost like you forget life before ever being married to that person.

    Happy anniversary Kari! I love you babe.

    Thanks for reading! I’d love to hear what you think, and don’t forget to subscribe! 

    Josh Benner is the associate pastor at Cornerstone Evangelical Free Church in Fergus Falls, Minnesota and has a Master of Divinity from Trinity Evangelical Divinity School. He enjoys writing about faith and culture. He lives with his wife Kari in Minnesota.

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  • When we’re tempted to second guess God…

    photo-1495954484750-af469f2f9be5
    I was going through Lee Strobel’s latest book The Case for Miracles last week. The final chapter in the book was a poignant discussion entitled: “When miracles don’t happen.”

    In that chapter, Strobel interviews Douglas Groothuis who’s a professor at Denver Seminary. In the interview, they talk about the health of Groothuis’s wife Becky, a Mensa member and author who developed a rare form of dementia which impacts the brain’s ability to recall words.

    In the interview, they talk of day to day challenges of seeing his wife taken from him. The interview talked about faith, spirituality, lament, and hope.

    I was particularly struck by one of the answers Groothuis gave. Strobel asked “Do you feel like if you were God, you would definitely heal Becky?”

    “God is perfect and he acts accordingly. If I were God, I’d be perfect – and therefore I’d act in the very same way he does. We might not understand why he does what he does, but it’s folly to think we’d do things better.”

    I found that to be brilliant and insightful. It’s easy for us to look to things in God’s rule of creation and to think it could be done better or should be done differently. But God is righteous and eternal. At times, it can be very hard to see the good in the struggles of our lives. At times, it’s hard to see the goodness of God in the wrongs others afflict on us.

    Groothuis saw a brilliant woman lose her mental faculties and pass away at just 59 years of age. But the faith to trust that God is still good in that. To trust that God is so good that his plan cannot be improved upon in spite of all of the bad, all of the evil, all of the suffering in our world. God still works that for good. God still weaves that into his plans and uses it for his own glory.

    Josh Benner is the associate pastor at Cornerstone Evangelical Free Church in Fergus Falls, Minnesota and has a Master of Divinity from Trinity Evangelical Divinity School. He enjoys writing about faith and culture. He lives with his wife Kari in Minnesota.

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