The Josh Benner Guide to Taking the GRE

Today is the first official day of the new, extended version of the Graduate Record Exam (GRE), a test which is common among individuals applying to graduate school.

Step 1: Purchase a GRE study guide

Step 2: Prepare to start hating your life

Step 3: Start studying for the GRE on a regular basis, and then find an excuse to stop studying after twenty minutes.

Step 4: Tell yourself, “Ok, but tomorrow, I really can’t do that.”

Step 5: Repeat step 3

Step 6: Repeat step 4

Step 7: Buy a different GRE study guide

Step 8: During exam week, tell yourself, “Ok, now it is really time to buckle down and study for this thing.”

Step 9: (Immediately after step eight) tell yourself, “Well if I didn’t already know it, it’s going to be too late to try to learn anything new at this point.

Step 10: Take the GRE

Step 11: Retake the GRE (if necessary)

Step 12: Decide that the ETS isn’t about education, they’re about $

Remember: if you do not get the score which you would like to receive the first time you take the GRE, as discouraging as that may be, you can always retake the test. The GRE isn’t a test of your intelligence, it’s a test of your ability to take the GRE.

If you have a dream profession that you want to pursue, and you need a masters do go down that path, don’t give up on yourself as a result of one bad test score. Sure, the GRE isn’t a cheap test to take, but the $150 (or however much it costs now) is not a significant amount of money in the grand scheme of your life!

jrb (1200 on the GRE, 5.0 on writing)

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