Psychology Today ran an article this week titled “Are trans people excluded from the world of dating?” by Karen L. Blair, a psychologist from St. Francis Xavier University.
In the article, she sites a survey she helped conduct which sought the dating preferences of almost 1,000 people. Specifically, it sought if a person would date a cisgender man (a biological man who identifies as a man), cisgender woman, transgender man, transgender woman, or someone who does not identify with a specific gender.
The vast majority of respondents (87.5%) said that they would only date someone who’s cisgender. In the survey, only 3.1% of cisgender people who identified as heterosexual said they would be willing to date someone who’s trans.
I find this fascinating.
There are different reasons that can be sought to explain this reality. The author of the article suggests one: a person may only want to date someone with whom they can procreate. Others could suggest that everyone has their own preferences in a romantic partner. For some, it’s someone who’s really tall, or has a certain of hair, etc. It could be suggested that dating someone who’s trans just isn’t attractive to some people.
I believe there is a simpler explanation. Many progressives in our culture can publicly affirm and support a person who’s transgender and proudly identify them by their preferred pronouns. Yet the overwhelming majority of people are uninterested in pursuing a romantic relationship with someone who is transgender. I believe the reason is this: for most people, in their heart of hearts, they don’t believe in transgenderism.
If a person truly believed that a biological woman who identifies as a man is actually a man, why not consider dating them?
Because they don’t believe it.
The article continues to talk about the findings of the research. “Individuals were least likely to express an interest in dating trans women, even if their sexual identity would otherwise indicate an interest in women.” Simple explanation for that. People who are interested in women are not interested in pursuing romantic relationships with men who identify as women. Because they’re not women.
There are people who try to tear down gender and reality, but when it comes to relationships, nature and design win.
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Josh Benner has a Master of Divinity from Trinity Evangelical Divinity School. He has served churches in Minnesota and Illinois. He enjoys writing about faith and culture. He lives with his wife Kari in St. Louis.
Josh Benner 