Josh Benner

Tag: female

  • Best of 2018. #5 Parents allowing children to decide their gender: why?

    child-childrens-baby-children-s.jpg

    As 2018 comes to a close, I am sharing some of my top posts from this year. 

    A recent article from NBC talks about a Massachusetts family who are raising their twin boys without a gender. The idea behind this parenting philosophy is to allow the twins to decide for themselves when they’re older.

    In the story, the mother made the fair point about how we do have ways how we stereotype little boys and little girls that aren’t always helpful. Many raise girls to be prissy and “girlie,” while boys are raised to be tough and to not cry. These aren’t necessary aspects of masculinity and femininity, on that point, I agree. However to combat those stereotypes, we don’t need to raise children without gender. There are other, healthier approaches. (more…)

  • Parents allowing children to decide their gender: why?

    child-childrens-baby-children-s.jpg
    A recent article from NBC talks about a Massachusetts family who are raising their twin boys without a gender. The idea behind this parenting philosophy is to allow the twins to decide for themselves when they’re older.

    In the story, the mother made the fair point about how we do have ways how we stereotype little boys and little girls that aren’t always helpful. Many raise girls to be prissy and “girlie,” while boys are raised to be tough and to not cry. These aren’t necessary aspects of masculinity and femininity, on that point, I agree. However to combat those stereotypes, we don’t need to raise children without gender. There are other, healthier approaches.

    It’s absolutely unnecessary for a person to take an otherwise normal, healthy baby and to then introduce confusion into their child’s life. Is letting a person “decide” their gender so important?

    I hear people talk about how complicated gender is.

    For the vast majority of people, it’s pretty simple. And so I return to my question, why introduce confusion? Why introduce additional complexity?

    I know to some this seems progressive and enlightened.

    It’s unwise.

    I saw a video a few years ago of a British woman who was doing this with her son. It’s heartbreaking.

    If your approach to parenting is doing something that society has historically not done and which contradicts the wisdom of human experience: it’s wrong. Raising a child is not the time to try new experiments.

    The idea that you can raise a kid without gender and then let them decide their gender is self-defeating.

    The idea that you can take a baby boy or girl and raise this child neutral of gender, and later let them decide their gender, it’ll be in the context of them having been raised as unaware to their gender. When they decide which gender they want to be, it’ll be from a context of not having been raised according to a particular gender. It’s not like you’ll decide you want to be a boy and instantly know how to do it. You weren’t shown! You weren’t taught! You were intentionally kept in the dark.

    Part of the justification that I’ve seen is that this helps a child to embrace their identity. I would argue that it actually raises a child ignorant of an important aspect of their identity. This style of parenting takes away the foundation of manhood and womanhood.

    And for what purpose?

    According to a 2016 study by the Williams Institute, transgendered people make up just over one half of one percent of the American population. And the transgender life is not an easy one. Tragically, the rate of attempted suicides within that community is 40% according to The Report of the 2015 U.S. Transgender Survey.

    With the Massachusetts family, the mother is an engineer and talks of the gender stereotypes in her field, how it is often male-dominated. That’s probably true. But how does it help that to raise boys as if they’re not?

    Gender comes from God. It’s fundamental to his creation of humanity. God made men and women and we are both created in his image. We should celebrate masculinity and femininity. Men and women compliment each other.

    Josh Benner is the associate pastor at Cornerstone Evangelical Free Church in Fergus Falls, Minnesota and has a Master of Divinity from Trinity Evangelical Divinity School. He enjoys writing about faith and culture. He lives with his wife Kari in Minnesota.

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  • Beth Moore letter addresses misogyny in evangelicalism

    Over the last generation, Beth Moore has been one of the most prominent female leaders and speakers in American Evangelical circles. Her Bible studies are hugely popular among women. She’s the founder of Living Proof Ministries, a ministry for women based out of Houston.

    She’s not a pastor. She’s an author and speaker.

    Although she’s popular in Evangelical circles, she’s not universally supported. Some of the criticisms of her theology include that it’s a prosperity gospel or that it’s intellectually light theology.

    My purpose in writing today is not to argue for or against the merits of her theology. Agree or disagree with her, she’s hugely influential. And today, Moore posted an open letter on the blog for Living Proof Ministries “A letter to my brothers” where she discusses some of her experiences as a prominent speaker in circles that are generally dominated by men.

    The subject of women in ministry is one that is debated within Christian circles. Can a woman be a pastor? Can a women ever preach a sermon? Can a woman teach men in the church? People have different opinions on these issues. Some would say yes to all three, some would say no to all three. Others are in the middle.

    It’s complicated.

    In writing, Moore talks about some of the misogynistic treatment she’s received over the years. Considering the divergent opinions within Christian circles on women in leadership, Moore’s letter talks about how she had chalked up some of her treatment as being a byproduct of deeply rooted Biblical convictions among sincere Christians with whom she simply disagreed.

    From the letter:

    I accepted the peculiarities accompanying female leadership in a conservative Christian world because I chose to believe that, whether or not some of the actions and attitudes seemed godly to me, they were rooted in deep convictions based on passages from 1 Timothy 2 and 1 Corinthians 14.

    As Moore continues to elaborate, she talks of coming to a realization that it wasn’t simply about differences in opinion.

    I came face to face with one of the most demoralizing realizations of my adult life: Scripture was not the reason for the colossal disregard and disrespect of women among many of these men. It was only the excuse. Sin was the reason. Ungodliness.

    Our culture largely disrespects women. The #metoo movement showed the rampant sexual harassment and assault in Hollywood. As the movement spread, more and more areas of life came to light that were stained by the mistreatment of women. The #churchtoo movement showed further examples of assault and harassment from within the church. Obviously we knew that there were issues but these movements have created a national dialogue.

    While Moore’s post dealt more with misogyny than sexual assault, both are a reflection of a culture which far too often devalues women.

    The church is meant to be a light in a dark world. But we also live in society and the world is sinful. For too many Christians, misogyny and sexism are overlooked blindspots.

    I hold to a complementarian theology where I believe that preaching and teaching is reserved for men. Theologically, it’s how I see God having designed his created order. I think that’s the best way to interpret the applicable Biblical passages. I think that complementarianism can (and should) be honoring to women. Women are created in the image of God and are precious. But with a theological belief that there are certain things that men can do within the church and that women can’t do; with beliefs on submissiveness (without also understanding the self-sacrifice to which men are called), it can be easy for an Evangelical Christian male to develop a misogynistic view of women. Please don’t misunderstand. I’m not saying that the Bible is misogynistic. I’m saying that sinful men can distort the Bible and become sexist within our culture that often accepts sexism and misogyny. The default is just to do what the rest of the world is doing unless proactively living out a different set of values.

    Again, we can agree or disagree with what Beth Moore believes and teaches. But we shouldn’t dismiss her points. The church needs to be a leader in our society in showing honor and respect to all women.

    At the end of her letter, Moore makes a simple request:

    I’m asking that you would simply have no tolerance for misogyny and dismissiveness toward women in your spheres of influence. I’m asking for your deliberate and clearly conveyed influence toward the imitation of Christ in His attitude and actions toward women.

    Josh Benner is the associate pastor at Cornerstone Evangelical Free Church in Fergus Falls, Minnesota and has a Master of Divinity from Trinity Evangelical Divinity School. He enjoys writing about faith and culture. He lives with his wife Kari in Minnesota.