It’s easy to know how to have a great marriage, but actually having one takes work

It’s EASY to know how to have a good marriage. In theory.
It’s easy to know what you should do. But it can be really hard to DO what you should do.
It’s really easy to know how to put yourself into a good financial situation. Spend less money, save, avoid debt. It’s harder to actually have the discipline to do it.

It’s easy to know how to live a healthy lifestyle. Exercise, get enough sleep, and instead of carbs eat horrible, disgusting vegetables. It’s hard to have the motivation to actually do it.
It’s easy to know what to do to grow Spiritually. Pray, read the Bible, go to church. It’s hard to make it a daly priority, and then, on top of that, to live it out.
It’s easy to know what we should do. It’s hard to do what we should do.
It’s easy to know some principles for having a good marriage: be the bigger person, pick your battles, love your spouse sacrificially, don’t keep score. It’s hard to…not do the opposite of all of those things.
Because we’re people and we’re imperfect.
Having a great marriage takes work. Some seasons will be harder than others. Some conflicts will be harder than others. And it’ll take work. It won’t always be easy.
But it will be worth it.
Because there are times when it’s easier to be selfish than selfless. There are times when it’s easier to pick a fight than let it go. There are times when it’s tempting to keep score, and we sometimes always feel like we’re winning when we do that.
When marriage is done right, there aren’t many things better than that in the whole world. Two people who love each other who have fun with each other, who bring out the best in each other.
And so daily, you need to have a desire to want to be a blessing to each other, to love each other well, to treat each other well.
And you’ll have days where you don’t do as good of a job at that. You’ll have days where you do better with that. But everyday, that needs to be the goal. It needs to be something you’re constantly working on. Because just like trying to be in a good place financially, a good place with health, a good place Spiritually, if you stop practicing the habits that make you successful, you’ll stop succeeding in those areas. And it’s also true of marriage.
Too many people stop pursuing, stop growing.
Keep working at it. Everyday. Do what it takes. Anyone who’s married needs to make the art of being a great spouse a top priority.

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Josh Benner is the associate pastor at Cornerstone Evangelical Free Church in Fergus Falls, Minnesota and has a Master of Divinity from Trinity Evangelical Divinity School. He enjoys writing about faith and culture. He lives with his wife Kari in Minnesota.

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