Josh Benner

Tag: Marriage

  • “I kissed dating goodbye” author is separating from his wife

    Popular author and former pastor Joshua Harris announced via Instagram that he and his wife Shannon are separating.

    Harris influenced a generation of Evangelical Christian youths with his popular books “I kissed dating goodbye” and “Boy meets girl: say hello to courtship.”

    On Instagram, Harris said:

    We’re writing to share the news that we are separating and will continue our life together as friends. In recent years, some significant changes have taken place in both of us. It is with sincere love for one another and understanding of our unique story as a couple that we are moving forward with this decision. We hope to create a generous and supportive future for each other and for our three amazing children in the years ahead. Thank you for your understanding and for respecting our privacy during a difficult time.

    Last year, Harris began to distance himself publicly from his dating philosophy and called for the end of the publication of “I kissed dating goodbye.”

    I do have a few thoughts.

    It’s very unfortunate that their marriage is in its current state. I sincerely hope that they can reconcile and go on to have a strong marriage. In his post he used the word “separating” instead of divorce, so maybe I’m overly hopeful.

    Some will mock Harris. I think that’s unfortunate. Let’s not rub salt on the wounds. It’s a family, people’s lives, they have three kids. It’s not funny.

    With that said, I also don’t think a person should feel guilty of noticing the irony. He was the relationship guru for untold swaths of young Christians. I think a person can observe that fact without celebrating it.

    There may be a temptation for Christians who are in a tough spot with their own marriages and who bought in to Harris’s philosophy to question their own vows and relationship. Don’t do that. Joshua Harris is still just a man and he’s still fallen and fallible. Let us not make idols of teachers and writers. Regardless of what he is doing in his life and marriage, that doesn’t undermine the commitment that anyone else has made to your spouse.

    I also think it’s worth noting that just because Joshua Harris is separated from his wife does not mean that everything he ever said about dating and relationships was wrong. I don’t love “I kissed dating goodbye.” I would not encourage a person to base their dating philosophy off of that book. But for people who did, there are still some good things that he said. He emphasized being ready for marriage, commitment, healthy boundaries. Those are good things. Just because a person doesn’t ultimately live up to their own ideals does not make the ideals wrong in themselves.

    It’s important to continue to fight for your marriage. Everyday.

    Thanks for reading! I’d love to hear what you think, and don’t forget to subscribe! 
    Josh Benner has a Master of Divinity from Trinity Evangelical Divinity School. He has served churches in Minnesota and Illinois. He enjoys writing about faith and culture. He lives with his wife Kari in St. Louis.

  • Another city tries to troll Chick-fil-a

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    Photo courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.

    Another story regarding an airport Chick-fil-a. There had already been recent stories of politicians trying to block or hinder Chick-fil-a locations at the San Antonio and Buffalo airpots.

    Now it’s San Jose who has set its sites on the popular chicken restaurant. Next month, a new Chick-fil-a is set to open at the San Jose airport. Ir’s an agreement which was made last year.

    As is often discussed, Chick-fil-a was founded with Christian values, is closed on Sundays, and donates money to Christian organizations who adhere to Christian values (among those values, traditional marriage).

    The San Jose city council (who approved Chick-fil-a opening the location) unanimously voted to fly rainbow flags near the new Chick-fil-a.

    What planet are we living on?

    How childish can you be?

    Santa Clara county supervisor Kevin Yeager said, ““to counter the bigotry of Chick-fil-A and to let people know that even though there’s that restaurant there, the city is showing its support for the LGBTQ community.”

    Many in our society hate the values and teachings of Christianity.

    These attempts to troll Chick-fil-a are a display of that hatred.

    Do elected officials have nothing better to do than to troll and antagonize a successful restaurant that provides jobs? We live in a free country. If people don’t like what Chick-fil-a believes in, they don’t have to go there. Some airports have tried to shut down and interfere with Chick-fil-a.

    Matt Walsh, writing for the DailyWire put it well:

    This is not normal or healthy behavior. An adult should be able to cope with the fact that not every other adult in the world necessarily agrees with everything they do and think. There are many companies run by people who hold views I find abhorrent. I either choose to patronize those establishments or not, but I am not going to spend years of my life trying to penalize them for the crime of failing to abide by my every ideological whim.

    Despite all of the vitriol and opposition, Chick-fil-a continues to dominate as one of the most profitable and beloved fast food restaurants in America. Meanwhile those who oppose the restaurant are doing a great job helping them get lots of free publicity from media outlets.

    Thanks for reading! I’d love to hear what you think, and don’t forget to subscribe! 

    Josh Benner  has a Master of Divinity from Trinity Evangelical Divinity School. He has served churches in Minnesota and Illinois. He enjoys writing about faith and culture. He lives with his wife Kari in St. Louis.

  • Politicians decide to pick on Chick-fil-a

    800px-Chick-fil-A
    Photo courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

    Chick-fil-a has been the target of political ire in two different states in as many weeks. In late March, the San Antonio city council approved a new dining area in Terminal A of San Antonio International Airport. The agreement had originally included opening up a Chcik-fil-a location, but the council didn’t give approval until Chick-fil-a was excluded from the agreement.

    While Chick-fil-a is one of the most beloved fast food restaurant chains in America, famous for it’s chicken sandwiches, waffle fries, lemonade, and excellent customer service, the company also has a strong foundation of Christian values which permeate throughout the chain.

    Chick-fil-a does support organizations who share in the company’s traditional values, and some of those organizations oppose same-sex marriage. Among those groups are the Fellowship of Christian Athletes (FCA) and the Salvation Army.

    One piece of the story that I feel rarely gets mentioned in media reports is that FCA and the Salvation Army happen to oppose same-sex marriage and value traditional marriage, but that is not the primary reason for the existence of these organizations. It’s a result of their Biblical values.

    The issue with airports discriminating against Chick-fil-a is that there isn’t evidence that the company actively discriminates against anyone. They serve everyone. And considering the federal funds which the airport receives, it’s illegal to discriminate against a company based on their religious values.

    A similar situation happened last week when Chick-fil-a was given approval to open up at the Buffalo airport. Once again, people tried to block it.

    Do politicians have nothing better to do?

    A person has the ability to choose not to eat at Chick-fil-a if they find the company’s values to be so offensive that they just can’t support it.

    It’s also ironic that I think of the calls to be inclusive, tolerant, and accepting, but then people want to bash a company for being true to their values. It’s this idea of “we’re inclusive, and if you’re not inclusive in the way we think is right, you should be excluded.”

    Thanks for reading! I’d love to hear what you think, and don’t forget to subscribe! 

    Josh Benner  has a Master of Divinity from Trinity Evangelical Divinity School. He has served churches in Minnesota and Illinois. He enjoys writing about faith and culture. He lives with his wife Kari in St. Louis.

  • Online dating 101: understanding that it’s different from traditional dating

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    There are a lot of different places where Americans meet their significant others. School, work, church, social organizations, through friends, just to name a few.
    But one commonality in these organic means of meeting someone is that you don’t generally pursue a relationship from the start of getting to know them. A relationship or friendship marinates, it grows.
    If you meet someone online, it gets the whole process reversed. Instead of getting to know someone and later seeing if a relationship could blossom, with online dating, the start of the conversation is often aimed at screening someone to see if a relationship could be possible.

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  • It’s easy to know how to have a great marriage, but actually having one takes work

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    It’s EASY to know how to have a good marriage. In theory.
    It’s easy to know what you should do. But it can be really hard to DO what you should do.
    It’s really easy to know how to put yourself into a good financial situation. Spend less money, save, avoid debt. It’s harder to actually have the discipline to do it.

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